The Pandemic Soul

I’d like to start getting back to talking about stuff I’m actually doing, reading, listening-to, instead of just posting links. Don’t know how often I’ll do this, but hopefully it’ll be more often than I was before.

First book I want to touch on is The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova.

RATING: Boring as hell.

I’m sure I’m going to get some hatemail about this, and I DO want to say that art and literature are personal tastes. Don’t take my word for it, because god knows that Hendrix College and their intellectual elitists decided that I don’t have a fucking clue what the hell I’m talking about. And the ironic thing is, I’m sure that everyone one of those cunts in the English department at that college probably masturbate thinking about this book.

Issue one, which is not a failing of the author, is false expectations. I had just finished The Da Vinci Code, before reading this, which I found to be an entertaining, although slightly empty book. I was looking for something that had a little more more meat and a couple fewer “Ah ha!” moments from the characters, which I found highly annoying in Da Vinci. The reviews I read about The Historian said that it was similar to Da Vinci and was a good read. Although I am always wary of tomes the size of Historian, because I don’t like lugging them around (especially in hardback form, which this was at the time I bought), I figured I’d give it a go.

Now, the major problem with this book is that it is just plain dull. Whereas with Da Vinci is just GO! GO! GO! all the way through, making you feel like Dan Brown can’t afford to stop the action for fear that you’ll realize that his story is little more than a pulpy wheezer, Historian seems to more of a moment-by-moment list of all the things the characters have done. We get to see every single fucking detail with no payoff. At least with Da Vinci, you have the sprint and then the discovery. A new detail around every turn. The Historian is 700 pages of walking (not sprinting), and for each walk around the block, we’re in the same damned place we were to begin with.

To sum it: Kostova needs to learn how to do a little more plot blooming as it happens, instead of waiting entirely until the end. It’s okay to reveal key facts and let the audience know that they’re key as they happen, instead of just rehashing the same facts over and over and then stringing us along until the end.

And so, Kostova gets the thumbs-down from me. Far, far too wordy. She needs a good editor, and a better sense of pacing.