The Pandemic Soul

I’m rather sick of hearing about how the United States is a “Christian Nation.” I’m also sick of hearing about Christ. But more than anything, I’m sick of self-righteous Christians talking to me.

So from now on, any time a Christian even begins to talk about their religion, no matter what the context, I’m going to ask them the questions listed below. I suggest anyone else who is concerned about how religion continues to poison America do the same.

Here we go:

• Name at least five of the Ten Commandments.
• Name all four of the Gospels.
• Tell me who Joan of Arc was.
• In which book of the Bible is the following quote found?: “God helps those who help themselves.” (Or, at least, who said it?)
• In which book of the Bible is the following quote found?: “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” (Or, at least, who said it?)

Basically, if you can’t even answer these most basic of questions about your faith, then you’re pretty much worthless as a Christian. Don’t expect “heaven.” You’re better off casting off the bounds of Christianity and simply considering yourself a person with empty beliefs about abortion, gay marriage, and other social touchpoints that have been forced on you by pedophile preachers and the hypocritical churches they represent.

PS: The reason I’m asking these specific questions? Well, read for yourself.