Easy Hate Mail
Nov 9th, 2005 by Jordan
The Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator, via MetaFilter
Just in time for this year’s family tension, technology saves the day! Here’s what I came up with…
Dear Dumbass,
I just wanted to let you know that you have completely ruined my life. If you knew shit from shinola you would be dangerous. I have decided to pretend that I am adopted because you have manipulated me one too many times. I have frequently looked the other way, which makes me almost as dumb as you.
This time you have thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
I have never shirked my responsibility to tell you that you are definitely taking the wrong meds. You would be so much better off if you would just lay off of the self indulgence. You must be bipolar. If I have to hear you tell me that one more time, I will hurl. You are a MONSTER. It is time for you to get a new psychiatrist, preferably one that actually graduated. Let this also serve as notice that all future visits have been cancelled as the thought of seeing you gives me a panic attack.
See you in hell you dumb witch,
ME
PS: Please do not reply back, I am sick of hearing your BS. I need time to contact my lawyer for the restraining order.